Bronze: Orion: Dino Horde by Spiral Games
Ha! We just had to get it back on there again, didn't we!? Yes, Worst Game of 2012 winner, Orion: Dino Beatdown is made something of a comeback in 2013 with Orion: Dino Horde. Technically the same game again but the folks at Spiral hyped it up to be something of a new release and they even have the audacity to charge even more money for it than they did before.
To be blunt, it's still fuggin' awful. It's a wave-based survival mode where you fend off against waves of dinosaurs. Not a terrible idea, but everything about playing this game just doesn't feel good at all. Weapons look and sound flimsy and it's just a mindless dumb game, and I mean that in the worst possible way. Driving around, running over raptors with your jeep might sound like fun, but the novelty wears off very quickly. It still looks like shit on toast and generally despite minor improvements, this game is still absolutely awful.
- Ross Hartley
Silver: Way of the Dogg by Echo Peak
It probably isn't a huge surprise that a rhythm game starring the one and only Snoop Dogg/Lion is dire. As far as games go, celebrity tie-ins never good. Well, there's an exception for the surprisingly fun 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand anyway!
Nothing about Way of the Dogg on paper sounds that bad. It's a straight-forward rhythm game where you have to press the right buttons at the right time, usuallywith the beat of the music. The problem is that the button presses often change back and forth between being on the beat of the music track and the lyrics. As a result, you will be taken off guard constantly in Way of the Dogg. It's sounds like a small part, but they basically just buggered up the core gameplay right there. On top of that, on normal, the game is ruthlessly difficult. I got half way through the game before giving up and starting over on easy. It feels like not a lot of care went into making Way of the Dogg, it feels like a cheap cash-in on a well known person.
This game is a real busta.
- Ross Hartley
Gold: Ride to Hell: Retribution by Eutechnyx
I just want to make it clear that I bought this game on the day of release and I finished it in a few days. There's not a lot I can say that hasn't been said many times about this vomit inducing train wreck of a videogame. The story, the voice acting, the shooting, the driving, the fist fighting, the controls, the music, the graphics, the animations, the sound effects... all absolutely absymal. There is absolutely nothing good about this game. It's even too long, something that most games certainly aren't.
The only thing I can say remotely positive about Ride to Hell is that the game is playable. After all I did finish it. But it is just so ghastly I would plead for all of you to stay so so far away from it.
I have said once before but I will say it again:
Deep Silver, SHAME ON YOU
Yes, Eutechnyx made this putrid pile of filth but you guys actually thought people would buy this? Despicable.
- Ross Hartley